MY LIFE....

I’m reevaluating what I need in my life. Relationship wise, expense wise, musically wise, mindset wise. I just want to drive to the beach at sunrise, leave my phone off the whole day, and sit in solitude with myself, throwing my thoughts with the waves and the current of the ocean. Some things have to change- it’s not necessarily that I’m doing anything wrong, it’s just that I need something to change.  im also realizing that if I’m going to allow myself to have a significant other, I need to start being serious about my choices. Evaluate the situation more clearly of how it will effect or better me futuristically instead of just liking someone and going with it. I need someone who will support what I do and am doing, and who has goals for themselves and is pursuing those full force. Someone who will put in as much effort as I do.. And who can understand the ways of me, and actually tries to. I need to learn not to go for someone who is going to push me away because of their own insecurities or lack of testosterone (for my pals who know about that part, yes, laugh!!)  If someone is unstable it shouldn't put them out of the race, but it also cant start to affect my life. I have enough going on without someone using their problems against me or as an excuse for their lack of commitment or effort. A significant other should be your better half, not a ball and chain that holds you back. I see most of my high school friends who are married, have kids, sometimes i ask myself...am I late?? NO.

But for right now, I just want solitude. I need to think and sort things out. Have fun. I can vent as much as I want to, but sometimes you just need to be alone, in the quiet, away from everything. 

I’ll have to make time to do that.